Sometimes, I hate being a perfectionist. Nothing I do is ever good enough, but I’m always under my own pressure to get things done regardless because I know that if I don’t keep that pressure on, my tendency to start projects but never finish them would take over.

However, when I do complete something (such as uploading a new song to my youtube channel), and I come back to it months or even years later, I see what I created and I usually cringe. I see the heart and the effort, but I also see how under developed that effort was.

At the time, it was alright. Good enough to put ‘out there’ as is and even feel somewhat proud of it, at any rate. Looking back, however, I struggle with mixed feelings. I think I’m wrong to feel any degree of shame in what I’ve done and shared from the heart, but I almost can’t help it. It’s all just so… bad. Like, honestly, awful.

This cuts into my ability to be productive and to progress. I have a tendency to revisit past projects and give them face lifts. Yes, I often see appreciable differences being made. I tend to feel grateful that I took the time to improve upon various existing somethings in my personal portfolio of creative somethings.

And that’s all well and good, but if you compare my overall creative output in recent years versus what I was able to accomplish roughly about a decade ago, I’ve clearly fallen into a slump. I’m not sure what I’d prefer right now: Messy proliferousness, or rare bursts of high-quality productions.

They say quality is better than quantity, but frankly, at this point in my life, I’m seriously beginning to favour the opposite. What do?